Flow 6. 17 The Dream of the Two Squares
Let's cross over shall we?
Last night I had a long and complicated dream about two squares. The new bright one was bright white and glowing. The old one, the faded 'fabric' of a much-loved, well-worn linen shirt.
I was making the crossing from the "old white' to the 'new bright white”, which seems like it would be easy, no? Yet it wasn’t. The moment I crossed the line, the old white began to pull on me. Like trying to move through thick and sticky taffy. Like being pulled on by a million hands as you try to drag yourself from one room to another.
I knew just what to do but the struggle was so wearying - a bone-deep feeling of giving up, of frustration. There was determination but also, fear of disappointment with myself.
I woke up with the feeling that this dream was about me AND about the world. How it feels to be alive right now. How I feel powerless to help with things that, if I had any power, i COULD help with. You know?
Like looking at something happening and knowing it's so wrong but thoughts like: I should have been more prepared for this. I should have thought things through - and positioned myself to be better able to serve.
To me, it's a dream rich with calling and invitation but also, awareness that I am still entangled in stories and excuses about my own limitations.
And the dream feels like it was saying: This is hard but let's just cross over, shall we?
